Thanks to Gary Craig for supplying the following list... (You may have seen these before but you have to admit that they are perfect!):
'These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still
valued, before a great portion of the English language got boiled down to
4-letter words, not to mention waving middle fingers.'
'I didn't attend
the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.' - Mark
Twain
'He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.' -
Oscar Wilde
'I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my
new play; bring a friend.... if you have one.' - George Bernard Shaw to
Winston Churchill
'Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend
second... if there is one.' - Winston Churchill, in response.
'I feel so
miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.' - Stephen
Bishop
'He is a self-made man and worships his creator.' - John
Bright
'I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing
trivial.' - Irvin S. Cobb
'He is not only dull himself, he is the cause
of dullness in others.' - Samuel Johnson
'He is simply a shiver looking
for a spine to run up.' - Paul Keating
'There's nothing wrong with you
that reincarnation won't cure.' - Jack E. Leonard
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